the glory of minions

copyright dilbert.com

The glory of minions lies in...

• their ability to do the things their bosses cannot do, e.g. operate the shredder and photocopy machine, design their own powerpoint slides, call up some big shot's PA.
• their willingness to work their asses off to fix anything and everything, e.g. blotting out the facial imperfections of all directors' pictures to be included in the company's annual report.
• their infinite patience in situations that are an ultimate waste of time, e.g. listening to the CEO preach about efficiency and productivity when all he does is swivel in his cushy leather armchair.
• their fortitude in cleaning up the mess that other people have created and doing other people's work (because saying no would diminish them to lower minions).
• their eagerness to help and go beyond the call of duty in the name of efficiency and unity at the workplace.
• their humility in knowing their place, nothing more, nothing less, and in performing all that is expected of them (and more) in the great scheme of things.

Oh hail minion, thou art noble and indispensable because who would top up the creamer at the coffee corner and fix the temperamental photocopier if thou art gone? Thou art that little spoke in the bicycle wheel that holds it fast and makes it turn.

If thou art not a minion but sit high up lofty in the clouds, remember that thy glory shines forth as the fruit of minions' toil and labour. Remember (pause) the glory of minions.