Life On The Other Side
This year was easily the worst Chinese New Year I celebrated in my life. Sick? No, EXHAUSTED. The week before was hell at work. I worked 12 hour days from Mon to Fri and stared at my laptop till my eyes and head felt like exploding. I think I only ate two proper dinners the entire week. The other times it was no dinner (too exhausted) or digestive biscuits stored in the office for nibbling. Needless to say, the zits kept popping and people were asking me in the lift if I had been OT-ing alot.
I was so burnt that I slept through the entire Chinese New Year and ate almost zero New Year goodies (itchy throat on the first day). I didn't even have energy to get out of the house to buy lunch! I thought, gosh, just a week of slogging can reduce me to this. What am I doing this for? Am I a pathetic weakling who can't tahan corporate life? How about exploring life on the other side? Who is to say that someone who doesn't have a regular job (and income) is worse off than me? Maybe these people enjoy what they're doing? Maybe they're happier? Maybe a simpler life (not that mine is complicated, hectic sometimes, rather) is just what many people need, but they're refusing to acknowledge it.
What a little crisis at work has done is to force me to consider the option of living life on the other side. To go against the grain, to do the unconventional. To do what I don't know yet but it sure feels liberating and exciting. To do what my heart desires and not what the world thinks is respectable. To be cool, the way I want it. And not to delay this, but to simply take the plunge when my heart tells me to go for it. Easier said than done, of course. But at least I have this at the back of my mind. That one day, if I find life too strenuous and something else is beckoning, then I might just take the plunge. It helps too that a special someone said to me, "If you jump, I jump." Now, that really got me thrilled.
Having said that, life at work's not all bad. It's just that it's very cyclical and tremendously hectic periods drive me very close to the cliff. There's alot of good my organisation is doing and if I sit down and look hard enough, there is meaning in each little task. Not without psycho-ing myself though. I've decided to just be as positive as I can, to laugh more and to enjoy the company of my wonderful colleagues. Yes girls, you make me feel like coming in in the morning :)
For now, life goes on. I'm going to work it out here before deciding what it is I'm called to do (and hopefully enjoy) in this life. But at least I know there's another life to make my only life (yes we only have ONE shot at it!) a little star in the universe.
I was so burnt that I slept through the entire Chinese New Year and ate almost zero New Year goodies (itchy throat on the first day). I didn't even have energy to get out of the house to buy lunch! I thought, gosh, just a week of slogging can reduce me to this. What am I doing this for? Am I a pathetic weakling who can't tahan corporate life? How about exploring life on the other side? Who is to say that someone who doesn't have a regular job (and income) is worse off than me? Maybe these people enjoy what they're doing? Maybe they're happier? Maybe a simpler life (not that mine is complicated, hectic sometimes, rather) is just what many people need, but they're refusing to acknowledge it.
What a little crisis at work has done is to force me to consider the option of living life on the other side. To go against the grain, to do the unconventional. To do what I don't know yet but it sure feels liberating and exciting. To do what my heart desires and not what the world thinks is respectable. To be cool, the way I want it. And not to delay this, but to simply take the plunge when my heart tells me to go for it. Easier said than done, of course. But at least I have this at the back of my mind. That one day, if I find life too strenuous and something else is beckoning, then I might just take the plunge. It helps too that a special someone said to me, "If you jump, I jump." Now, that really got me thrilled.
Having said that, life at work's not all bad. It's just that it's very cyclical and tremendously hectic periods drive me very close to the cliff. There's alot of good my organisation is doing and if I sit down and look hard enough, there is meaning in each little task. Not without psycho-ing myself though. I've decided to just be as positive as I can, to laugh more and to enjoy the company of my wonderful colleagues. Yes girls, you make me feel like coming in in the morning :)
For now, life goes on. I'm going to work it out here before deciding what it is I'm called to do (and hopefully enjoy) in this life. But at least I know there's another life to make my only life (yes we only have ONE shot at it!) a little star in the universe.
posted by goddazz @ 8:08 AM
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