What I've Learnt About Weddings

What I'm saying here is perhaps not new, but I thought it would be nice to list it in black and white, especially since I've been to quite a number of weddings in the past year. Here goes:

1. Weddings are inherently highly emotional events. If not for the couple getting married, then for the parents. And I can't help but tear, even if I'm not very close to the couple. The atmosphere is always so overwhelmingly joyous that alamak, taboleh tahan lah ;p Sheesh I wonder what will happen at my own!

2. The more elaborate the wedding, the more stressful. Yes it's an obvious and very DUH thing to say but seriously, looking at the amount of hair people pull out of their heads because of their wedding, I think it's wiser to have a simple, cosy, manageable one.

3. Wedding dinners (especially those big Chinese banquet ones) are often very meaningless affairs (no offence to anyone who's held one!) and are more for satisfying the couple's parents and relatives than anything else. I am honestly sick and tired of the same old cold dish sharks fin formula, the dinner starting at 8.45 (wah so lucky!), bad emceeing (e.g. "Do you know how much the groom loves the bride or not? Very much leh. I give you an example...") and lack of intimacy (poor couple's got to distribute their energies over God knows how many guests!). Then again, if you don't have a choice but to hold one, I don't blame you. Sometimes it's the parents' call. Now let's see, how many more Chinese wedding dinners do I have to go for... EEEEEEEEE

4. Er... does anyone actually take notice of the groom? Of his trembling kanchiong face while he waits for the bride, of the amount of sweat trickling down his forehead (I handed a whole pack of tissue to my friend recently!), of his really slick suit, of his shoes? Clearly, the men don't get it on their big day. Is this good or bad I wonder...

5. The choice of music for your wedding can make or break the event. I remember a band singing Michael Learns To Rock's 25 Minutes during a wedding dinner. HOW BAD IS THAT?!!!! "Boy, I missed your kisses, all the time your kisses, 25 minutes too late..." Enough said.

6. Even the best hotels can screw up. I had seasoned octopus (part of the cold dish) at the Grand Hyatt during a wedding dinner. Yummy absolutely scrumptious! But guess what happened when I got home. Diarrhoea three times with me bending my head over while sitting on the toilet bowl. Not to mention curling up like a prawn and trying to sleep but not succeeding because my brain kept telling me, "Get up, you need to shit!"

7. Does it really matter what shoes the bride wears? Because no one can see them anyway. Er yes, because if she wears stilts and doesn't know how to walk properly in them, she will make the biggest boo boo on the biggest day in her life. Yes it matters if you are crazy about shoes like I am. Hell, if you are so mad about shoes you jolly well wear a dress that's short enough to show them off!

8. Some wedding photo albums can be the ultimate CHEESEBALL. Picture this... An elegant shot with the couple perfectly poised, but the words "Love is such a precious moment" running over the page. Sala sala sala (buzzer sound)

9. If you're thinking of throwing big money on your wedding, perhaps it might be wiser to throw it on your house? After all, the King Coil mattress on your master bed will last longer than the sharksfin and almond jelly.

10. A wedding is just a day. A marriage is a lifetime. The more weddings I attend, the more this message is reinforced in my head. Getting married is a really grown-up thing to do and it takes alot to say "I do" because that "I do" is for a lifetime. Unless you mean it to last till your energy fizzles out. After the bride's bouquet wilts, after the groom recovers from his "yam seng" hangover and after the guests finish their dessert, it's get real time - a life together, roses warts and all. I choose to love you no matter what. Tough? It won't mean anything if it were not a challenge.

So when is it my turn? Not so soon, in case you were hoping. *grins* But I hope you enjoyed and identified with my list.