my episode in A&E--eeeks!

There is only one time in my life when I was quite sick—in April 2005 when I almost contracted bronchitis after about three weeks or so of respiratory congestion as a result of a prolonged cough, accumulation of phlegm and a clogged up nose.

The other health alarm began on 4 September. I’ve had bad headaches, dizziness and nausea as part of a virus attack about three or four times before and this time it felt like that. So I went to my GP, got the usual diagnosis and took his medicine. The way this virus works is I get a really bad headache, feel extremely fatigued, lie in bed for a day and the next day, I feel perfectly fine. It’s as if the virus never happened. So it was with this. I went back to work the next day and everything went on as usual. I even went for the office’s weekly brisk walk on Friday and enjoyed every bit of it without feeling any hint of weakness. Then the weekend came and I felt fatigued again, with a throbbing headache and dizziness for the whole of Sunday.

Early next week I began to feel it creeping back and this ended up in a 2-day MC at home, which didn’t help in reducing the symptoms. By Sunday I was back to my GP asking why I wasn’t well yet and he suggested going to Tan Tock Seng Hospital’s (TTSH) A&E to do a check. They would probably conduct a blood test just to investigate further. I should’ve been ok by now if it was a virus, he said. Going to A&E would help clear up the fog. So I went on Monday after a mild headache came to plague me. I decided enough was enough and I was dying to know what was going on, so I called a cab and made the journey on my own, armed with a water bottle, jacket and the day’s newspapers (it would be at least a 3-hour wait).

Monday is traditionally a busy day for TTSH A&E, so I was quite thankful to be seen by a staff nurse for a preliminary invitation within 10 minutes of paying my $80 emergency attendance fee and seeing a medical officer (according to my doctor friend, she’s probably a houseman) about half an hour later. She decided there was no need for a blood test after asking me a series of symptom-related questions. I just had to take a urine test to check for any infections and she would jab me with a strong painkiller to take away the headaches, dizziness and nausea. She put me in one of those wheeled hospital beds, jabbed me with a plastic tube-like thing at the back of my right elbow and left it in there for what would be 2.5 hours. I would be placed in an observation room and she would examine me in 2 hours and decide if I needed to be warded. WARDED! Woh, this is getting feverish. But I was optimistic about my chances of going home as I felt quite fine, though I wondered how long I was going to be stuck at the hospital.

After the jab, she wheeled me to a central area where other patients like me were lying in hospital beds and nurses were keying things into electronic machines, checking their charts, giving them their medicine and pushing them on to where they were supposed to go next. The doctor disappeared out of sight and I lay at 45 degrees for a while before a nurse came to give me my medicine (to minimise any gastric symptoms due to the strength of the painkiller).

This marked the start of my long wait. I took out my mobile, called Mum to tell her what was going on and then sat up and read the newspapers. Shortly after, a nurse came to wheel me to the observation room, a place more crowded than where I previously was, with the beds lined up side by side and filling the room. I sat and read slowly for awhile before the food auntie came, asking each of us if we wanted any dinner (this was 5.45pm) as we didn’t know how long we were going to stay and we’d better take some food in case we were stuck here till evening. I didn’t want any porridge so I asked for milo and biscuits. She gave me a Gardenia vanilla bun as well. I was a little nibbly and ate to pass the time while reading about how Fusionopolis is going to turn science fiction into reality (no offence against scientific research, but the article was quite boring to me and I was like yawn, next. Like, how come there isn’t anything exciting in home news?).

Wait wait wait. In between newspaper reading, more patients are wheeled into the room, many of them elderly and with tubes stuck in them. I find out from the food auntie that those with the blue charts (like me) were under observation while those with the pink charts were waiting to be admitted. A patient with a severe back pain is asked if she wishes to transfer to Alexandra Hospital as there are not enough beds for her today. An 87 year-old grandma is wheeled next to me and her Filipino domestic caretaker says she’s being admitted for diarrhoea. She also has dementia and her husband was just admitted a few days ago. I notice that she speaks to her ‘ah po’ in Hokkien and compliment her on her language skills. I don’t even speak as well as she does. She says she took about two months to grasp the basics from speaking to ah po. Now this is one talented Filipino maid!

Wait wait wait and it’s 6pm. Great! Doctor is supposed to come see me. She is nowhere in sight. Three times I ask the nurses to call for her and I’m told hang on awhile, maybe she’s busy. More newspaper reading till she finally shows up at 7 with dried blood on her lips (I was told she was caught up with an emergency case) and asks me to go and pee in a container again as they only did the pregnancy urine test. They need more pee to check for infection. So I go and pee and wait again. Then she comes back and says I can be discharged, she’ll give me paracetamol for headache and medicine for dizziness/nausea and the hospital would arrange for a follow-up appointment with a neurologist. For the moment, the diagnosis was that my symptoms were caused by tension as there was nothing to suggest any brain-related ailment (PHEW!), bacterial infection or pregnancy (very DUH but ok they have to test for this). I am so relieved I don’t have to be warded! I get out and wait for about 15 minutes at the pharmacy for my medication. By the time I leave the hospital, It’s 8pm. I just spent 5 hours in TTSH!!!!!!!!!

It was such a relief walking out of hospital as waiting around with a needle inside me and surrounded by people who are all more sick than I am is not a relishing feeling. Also, being wheeled around without telling me where I’m going is a particularly lost experience. Add to that the uncertainty of how long I’m going to be stuck around and you get lingering waves of er… do these people really know what they’re doing? I’m sure they did as the mess of activity around me was perhaps just a clockwork system that appeared chaotic, just that I didn’t understand how it worked. I’m just glad I’ve recovered and I didn’t have to be warded.

A few observations about A&E:

• A&E in Singapore is not really a place for pure A&E cases. This is corroborated by my doctor friend who says uneducated Singaporeans go to A&E for a non-emergency case, which clogs up the place and lengthens the wait. Seriously, there was no REAL emergency I observed while I was there, though most of the patients in beds that I saw looked legitimate enough to come to hospital.
• Given the nature of activity at A&E, try at all odds to avoid going there as it can be quite an uncomfortable experience for a first-timer. No one likes to go to hospital and A&E is probably one of the worst places to go as things may be just that little bit more chaotic (especially on busy days when they have a tight bed situation) than say at a specialist clinic.
• I didn’t know they give you free food in A&E! It’s not great food but it’s not bad either. At least they don’t allow you to starve while you’re waiting. That rocks.
• It would help alot if doctors and nurses explained adequately to patients what they were in for the whole time they are there. Admittedly it may be unclear how long a patient is going to stay and what will happen to them ultimately, but at least a quick orientation would instantly put the patient at ease. More than a week after my visit, the National Healthcare Group called me to do a survey on customer service at TTSH A&E and I told them I wouldn’t want to go back unless I really had no choice because the experience is just very disorientating and scary!

I never thought I’d have to end up in A&E, but oh well. At least I know what to expect if I ever have to land up there again, touch wood! I’m just glad to say I’ve returned to the pink of health (just did pilates on Tuesday, will brisk walk today). Now I just have to see what the neurologist says (appointment is end October), though I think it won’t be much. *crosses fingers*

captivated by corrinne

Corrinne May is a genius and an angel! I heard about her from a friend who is a fan, but I'd never heard her songs, except for once when one of her songs was buzzing in a noisy Pastamania outlet. The first time I heard her sing was at a Christian music concert by Chris de Silva at the Church of St Mary of the Angels. Corrinne was sitting quietly in the audience enjoying the music and the organiser asked her to sing at the end of it. I'm so glad she agreed! She sang Love Song for #1 and Five Loaves and Two Fishes from her latest album, Beautiful Seed. Even though it was impromptu, she performed beautifully, as if it was her own concert!

I was totally captivated, mesmerised and spellbound. No other singer has touched my heart like her. Now I regret not getting my picture taken with her. A friend who was with me was so delighted after taking a picture with her and getting her autograph. She said Corrinne was very obliging and asked each person coming up to get her autograph his/her name so she could address the autograph personally to him/her. Needless to say, the audience (many of whom I suspect had not even heard of her) clapped enthusiastically. Even though she'd only sung two songs, it felt as if the concert was hers as she crowned its ending with true feeling and sincerity in that honey vanilla voice.

Boy was so sweet to give me Beautiful Seed just three days after the concert and I raved to him about Corrinne. I was so delighted I kept on squealing on the way to lunch with him and listened to it everyday in the office. The songs still continue to grow on me and buzz in my head when I'm not listening to them. I think what distinguishes Corrinne as a true musician is not just her beautiful voice and playing of the piano, but her sincerity that speaks to listeners through her meaningful and moving lyrics. Each song has a message that can touch the core of one's heart. Her music is moving, hauntingly wistful and beautiful, and... Too wonderful for me to describe in words. It just IS.

Thank you, Corrinne, for your music. You are a great gift to your fans and all who've just started to listen to you. Continue to make music that touches our hearts and souls. You are an inspiration and my heroine! Come back to Singapore to perform soon so I can hear you live again. Gosh, I can't believe I'm still blown away...